A Letter To The Commissioner

I’ve been waiting two years and six days to do this…

Dear Roger,

I feel like you and I are on a first name basis right now, although you don’t know who I am, and I also don’t respect you enough to call you Mr. Goodell. There are so many different ways I can go about this, so I’ve done a lot of thinking. I speak for all of Patriots Nation in this letter, which is a lot of pressure on my end but here it goes.

Thank you for being an asshole. Thank you for conducting this insane witch hunt. When all this began in January of 2015, part of me knew that there was no way it would end in Brady’s favor, guilty or not. The phrases “more probable than not,” and, “generally aware” rang in my ears for months on end. Because of you, Ted Wells joined you atop the list of most hated people in New England, something he probably didn’t deserve before all of this. In the midst of all of this, do you remember what happened? Of course you do. Tom Brady and the New England Patriots won Super Bowl XLIX. The reason you remember this so well is because you personally handed over the Lombardi Trophy. As I sit here rewatching that video, it’s almost impossible to miss how uncomfortable you looked and sounded standing up there with Robert Kraft, Bill Belichick, and the man whose career you were trying to railroad into the ground. The sounds of boos echoed throughout University of Phoenix stadium from the Patriots faithful, which I’m sure made you feel great too. However, this was all before this investigation got out of hand…

At first, when the news broke this past spring that Tom Brady would in fact have to serve his four game suspension, I was pissed, as I’m sure everyone else was too. I said a few not nice things about you, not like that’s anything surprising. You, on the other hand, must have been loving life. You did it! You suspended the GOAT! Time to watch the Patriots burn!…. Well, not quite. Four games without Tom wasn’t fun, but it’s almost as if you forgot about Jimmy Garoppolo, and it’s obvious you completely underestimated Jacoby Brissett. 3-1 without Brady, an almost perfect start to the revenge tour.

Cue Brady’s return, week five against Cleveland. Although he wasn’t allowed any contact with his team, or even to be within the confines of 1 Patriot Place, that didn’t stop him. This man, 39 years-old, worked his ass off as well as fitting in some relaxation time with wife Giselle. Did you expect anything less? You’re more of an idiot than we all thought if you didn’t see this coming. Despite one loss to Seattle, the Patriots have been playing some of their best football with Tom at the helm. Every week they seem to be improving on all sides of the ball, perfect timing all things considered.

I was looking forward to your visit to Gillette for the AFC Championship game,  but of course you ducked out of that. Why would you come to a place full of people that want nothing more than to see you lose your job? However, February 5th is right around the corner…

According to whereisgoodell.com (a genius creation by the way), it’s been 737 days since you’ve shown your face at Gillette, and it keeps ticking. Although the Super Bowl is to be played in Houston in 11 days, the Patriots will be there. How are you going to get out of that? It’s your job as commissioner of the league to be at the Super Bowl. It’s your job to hand deliver the Lombardi Trophy to the winning team, as well as the MVP trophy. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a repeat of Super Bowl XLIX… Well great for all of us, not for you.

I guess what I’m trying to say is thanks for trying all you possibly could to ruin this team, this organization, and the greatest quarterback of all time. Although they won’t admit it, it was a hell of a factor in the current drive for five. Your worst nightmare is coming true. See you in Houston, Roger. We can’t wait.

F**k you,

Patriots Nation


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